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While doing qigong I was noticing, as I had for the past few days, my mind wanting to control my experience. Specifically, I was trying to “be present” and the effort of that was making a sort of collision in my head between the flow of awareness and my effort. The collision was like an opaque knot of stress in my otherwise clear and calm inner space. I found I could not do anything about it and was frustrated to have it happening again. Then somehow knew I didn’t have to do anything and as I accepted the situation a lightness came over me. I was filled with a white liquid ecstasy that poured into my head. It filled me completely and I stood there giggling in this little inside world of pure liquid bliss.

As I breathe from my stomach right now it is as if I am breathing along with the earth.

Towards the end of my qigong session this morning and into my meditation my stomach suddenly felt new. I was breathing from my new stomach. As it rose and fell I was increasingly located there. A power built up that felt quite new. It felt like my body was being set free, and I was inhabiting it for the first time. The energy rose up and integrated with my heart.

I was meditating this morning. I began to wonder what in my awareness is truly me. After awhile I was a broad field of consciousness. At the same time there was a compressed little me there, an ego. I saw how the field of consciousness was a pure expression of Being. Then I saw the ego as simply a resistance in me to the pure expression, like a thick, muddy cloud. I felt it was safe to relax, to do nothing, and be the flow of self-referral consciousness. A sense of relief came over me, along with a clarity that spread through and filled me as if I became an endless lake of pure water.